when i wield the orb of hydration, i won't get thirsty. it also lets me do some cool spells involving water. it's not good to travel without an orb. even a weak orb is better than no orb.\n\n//[[back|get ready for a dangerous mission]]//

really, at this point, a ghost working for the train company is pretty ordinary. plus, a ghost in the dining car isn't going to steal any food.\n\n<<display "dining menu">>

the waffle is topped with maple syrup, and i mean real maple syrup, the good stuff. it's warm, fluffy, and satisfying. this was a good decision.\n\n//WAFFLE consumed\nSTYLE +1//<<set $style = $style + 1>>\n\n<<display "dining done">>

i flip through my spellbook until i find something suitable for fungicide. holding the spellbook above my head, i focus my energies towards the fungus. electricity suddenly crackles between the three stalagmites. about half the fungus burns away, filling the air with an unpleasant odor. unfortunately, the fungus quickly regrows to cover the central stalagmite once more.\n\n<<display "eighth">>

i've got my watch back. i should put it on, so i don't lose track of it again.\n\n//WATCH equipped to WRIST\nSTYLE +1\nDEFENSE +0\nCHRONOMATIC ATTUNEMENT +1//\n\nand let's see what time it is. it's... half past four? that doesn't make any sense. i definitely haven't been on here anywhere close to ten hours. unless... unless my watch is [[running backwards]]!<<set $style = $style + 1>><<set $chrono = $chrono + 1>>

maybe i took it off and put it in my jacket pocket. or maybe my shirt pocket? better check all my pockets.\n<<set $searches = $searches + 1>><<if $searches lt 3>>no, it's not in any of my pockets. i'm pretty sure that's all my pockets. all the pockets i know about, at least.<<display "watch finding actions">><<else>>aha! it was in that tiny inside jacket pocket. no, the one without the zipper. when did i even have the time to cram something in there? these things are always in the last place i look. but hey! i've [[got my watch back]].<<endif>>

i've had enough books. i need to feed my hongry belly, not just my head. and this is just the place to do it. behind the counter is [[a ghost]].\n\n"hello there!" the ghost shouts. "how can i help you?"\n\n"well, there are two things i'm hoping you can help me with. first off, where are all the other passengers?" i ask.\n\n"the other passengers, eh? pretty sure you're the only one with a ticket today. it's unusual, i'll confess, but it can happen from time to time. but hey! lucky you! when there's only one passenger on the train, it'll always go right where you need it."\n\ni consider his words. maybe this is a trick the conductor likes to pull from time to time. even still, i'd like to be sure of it.\n\n"i understand. and the second thing: i'm starving! what's on the menu today?"\n\n"ah, of course! here's what you can get today," the ghost says, gesturing towards a menu.\n\n<<display "dining menu">>

<<display "boss attack">>\n\nthe boss entity continues to twist and writhe. <<if $boss_hp lt 50>>it's looking like i've done a good amount of damage to it. hopefully it can't take much more.<<endif>>\n\n* [[fight|fight boss]]\n* [[magic|magic boss]]\n* [[drink|drink boss]]\n* can't run from this fight!

yeah. it's running backwards. someone -- or some//thing// -- is messing with me. that would explain why my watch went missing. and why it sounds like the engine has stopped running. and why i can't hear anyone else moving around or panicking about the train having stopped in the middle of nowhere. and why i feel so hungry.\n\nwait, no, it doesn't explain why i feel hungry. it explains all that other stuff, though. but i need to get this train moving, and to do that, i'm going to have to get to the engine car. i'd better [[get ready for a dangerous mission]].

i take a small key and open the door. the door unlocks, but the key breaks off in the lock. dang it.\n\nchecking inside, the room is empty, save for a stylish looking blue headband lying on a chair. i decide to put it on.\n\n//HEADBAND equipped to HEAD\nSTYLE +1\nDEFENSE +1\nFIRE RESISTANCE +1//<<set $style = $style + 1>><<set $fire_resistance = $fire_resistance + 1>><<set $defense = $defense + 1>><<set $keys = $keys - 1>><<set $tenth_door2 = true>>\n\n<<display "tenth">>

i take a closer look at the first painting. the subject in the portrait is visibly grimacing, blood dripping from the mouth. it's easy to discern the cause of the subject's ire: both eyes are hanging out of their sockets, dangling by the optic nerve. it's pretty gruesome.\n\n<<display "second">>

the omelette is filled with cheese, onions, and peppers. it's cheesy, fluffy, and satisfying. this was a good decision.\n\n//OMELETTE consumed\nSPEED +1//<<set $speed = $speed + 1>>\n\n<<display "dining done">>

i don't have time for amateur mycology right now, so i dash past the fungus. it makes no attempt to halt my progress, and i can easily proceed into [[the seventh passenger car]].

i take a closer look at the sculpture of the child with a baseball bat. the child is gripping the bat determinedly with both hands, but in the eyes there is something that is not quite determination. it looks closer to bitterness, maybe resentment. irregular chunks of the child's body are missing, as if the sculpture is not fully formed.\n\n<<display "sixth">>

i'm finally in the engine car. the quiet hum of powered-down machinery fills me with tension and dread. i carefully move around the valves, pipes, tubes, and pistons that have been artfully crammed into this space, attempting to make my way to the control panel at the end.\n\n"YOU HAVE DONE WELL TO MAKE IT THIS FAR, BUT YOUR LIFE ENDS HERE!"\n\n"what? wait, who the hell are you?"\n\n"I AM THE POWERFUL MASTERMIND WHO HAS MANIPULATED ALL THE FOES YOU HAVE FACED SO FAR! ALL YOUR STRUGGLES HAVE BEEN FOR NAUGHT!"\n\n"you're not making any sense. i haven't been facing foes. there's no mastermind in this story. i've already had the important revelation. are you on the right train? you might not be on the right train. i'm pretty sure there isn't supposed to be a boss fight on this train."\n\n"FOOLISH CREATURE! HOW LITTLE YOU UNDERSTAND OF YOUR PREDICAMENT! I SHALL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU IN BATTLE!"\n\n"fine," i sigh, "i guess we can fight. you seem pretty into this." i crack my knuckles and [[get ready to fight, or something|final boss 1]].<<set $boss_hp = 100>>

<<silently>><<set $eleventh_goblins = 2>><<set $style = 0>><<set $defense = 0>><<set $chrono = 0>><<set $geometry = 0>><<set $speed = 0>><<set $power = 0>><<set $magic = 0>><<set $keys = 0>><<set $fire_resistance = 0>><<endsilently>>

pathetic train of might and magic

my spellbook has lots of important reminders about how my magic works. it also has some poems, a few math problems, and some drawings. these are definitely important components of doing magic.\n\n//[[back|get ready for a dangerous mission]]//

<<set $damage = Math.ceil(Math.random() * ($power + 1) * 10)>>taking my doorknob in a tube sock in hand, i spin it around wildly, slamming it into sensitive-looking parts of the boss entity's body for <<print $damage>> damage.<<set $boss_hp = $boss_hp - $damage>>\n\n<<if $boss_hp lte 0>><<display "boss defeated">><<else>><<display "boss fight">><<endif>>

with my adventuring gear at hand, i enter the eleventh passenger car. the walls are upholstered with a plain tan fabric. the cabin doors in this car have been removed. before i can investigate further, two goblins jump out of a cabin and brandish sharpened sticks at me! i'll have to defend myself somehow.\n\n<<display "eleventh">>

i've had enough of the portrait gallery, so i head into the first passenger car. i see the wizened old troll from before sitting comfortably in a rocking chair in the middle of the car. how did she get here so fast? that doesn't seem like the right question at all. she got here because she needed to be here, so here she is.\n\n"ah, you've returned. [[come closer|first car closer]]," she beckons.

i got a lucky amulet from an old co-worker. he had lots of lucky stuff. when i quit my job, he gave me this amulet. it's good at detecting dangerous stuff and reminding me of appointments.\n\n//[[back|get ready for a dangerous mission]]//

i take a small key and open the door. the door unlocks, but the key breaks off in the lock. dang it.\n\nchecking inside, the room is empty, save for a stylish looking feather lying on a chair. i decide to stick it behind my ear.\n\n//FEATHER equipped to HEAD\nSTYLE +1\nDEFENSE +0\nSPEED +1//<<set $style = $style + 1>><<set $speed = $speed + 1>><<set $keys = $keys - 1>><<set $tenth_door1 = true>>\n\n<<display "tenth">>

the boss entity shrieks an unearthly shriek and collapses in a heap of body parts. i put my combat gear back into my bag and [[step around it towards the control panel|final boss epilogue]].

these are kind of illegal, but i've never been caught by the cops with 'em. i barely know how to use them, but they might be good for getting something open.\n\n//[[back|get ready for a dangerous mission]]//

i head back to my cabin to grab my bag. it's got everything i need for a dangerous mission:\n* [[spellbook]]\n* [[amulet]]\n* [[lockpicks]]\n* [[sock with a doorknob in it]]\n* [[orb of hydration]]\n\nwell, everything except something to eat, at least. i can probably find some food in the dining car, between the sixth and seventh passenger cars.\n\nit's time to head to [[the eleventh passenger car]].<<set $lockpicks = 3>>

if i know what time it is, i'll know how much time i have left to screw around trying to find my watch. better start just trying doors.\n\ni step outside my cabin. i'm at the end of my car. might as well go in order and [[check the second cabin]].

i knock on the door of the second cabin. nobody answers it.\n\n"hello?" i call. no response.\n\nmight as well [[try the third cabin]].

the odd fungus's stench still lingering in my nostrils, i enter the seventh passenger car. the walls are covered in white padding with visible stitching. the two cabins in this car are both open, with piles of books spilling out of them. my amulet is not reacting to them, so i'm free from danger for the time being.\n\n<<display "seventh">>

"i'd like the omelette, please," i say to the ghost.\n"right away!" the ghost cheerfully replies. the ghost ducks behind a curtain. about a minute later, the ghost returns with a delicious-looking omelette.\n\n"that'll be five dollars," the ghost says. i dig some cash out of my pocket and hand it to the ghost. the ghost smiles and says, "thank you, and enjoy," before fading away.\n\ni grab the plate with the omelette on it. [[this is gonna be good|enjoy omelette]].

pulling out my lockpicks, i set to unlocking the door. i managed to jimmy it open, but one of the picks gets stuck in the lock. <<if $lockpicks eq 1>>that was my last one, too!<<endif>> dang it.\n\nchecking inside, the room is empty, save for a stylish looking blue headband lying on a chair. i decide to put it on.\n\n//HEADBAND equipped to HEAD\nSTYLE +1\nDEFENSE +1\nFIRE RESISTANCE +1//<<set $style = $style + 1>><<set $fire_resistance = $fire_resistance + 1>><<set $defense = $defense + 1>><<set $lockpicks = $lockpicks - 1>><<set $tenth_door2 = true>>\n\n<<display "tenth">>

//chugga chugga//\n\nwith a flash of light, i find myself back in my cabin in the twelfth passenger car.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\ni check my watch. half past two in the afternoon. right on time.\n\n//chugga chugga skreee//\n\ni can hear the train slowing down. i'm at my destination.\n\n//chugga skreee chugga skreee skreee//\n\nthe train comes to a stop, and the door to [[exit]] slides open.

the makeshift portrait gallery has three paintings on display.\n\n* [[the first painting]], in a red frame.\n* [[the second painting]], in a green frame.\n* [[the third painting]], in a blue frame.\n\nonce i'm done here, i can go to [[the first passenger car]].

i open the door and stroll into the ninth passenger car. the walls here are made of some kind of shiny green plastic. it hurts a little bit to look at it for longer than a second. this car doesn't have any cabins in it. there is, however, a wizened-looking troll sitting in a rocking chair in the middle of the car.\n\n"[[come closer|ninth car closer]]," she beckons.

i knock on the door of the fourth cabin. it swings open slightly. peeking in, i see that it's empty.\n\nempty of people, at least. my watch is on the ground right past the doorway. i honestly have no idea how it could have gotten over there, but [[i'll take it|got my watch back]].

i can:\n* [[check the first door|tenth car first door]]\n* [[check the second door|tenth car second door]]\n\nor i could head to [[the ninth passenger car]].\n\n

i make my way into the tenth passenger car. the walls here are brushed aluminium. i gaze carefully down the hallway. the two cabins are closed. i move cautiously towards them, not desiring another ambush. i notice a small, rusted key on the floor. it might be useful, so i grab it.<<set $keys = $keys + 1>>\n\ninspecting the two cabin doors, i notice that they're locked. this key would probably open them. i survey the doors around me.<<set $tenth_door1 = false>><<set $tenth_door2 = false>>\n\n<<display "tenth">>

"i'd like the cake, please," i say to the ghost.\n"right away!" the ghost cheerfully replies. the ghost ducks behind a curtain. about a minute later, the ghost returns with a delicious-looking cake.\n\n"that'll be four dollars," the ghost says. i dig some cash out of my pocket and hand it to the ghost. the ghost smiles and says, "thank you, and enjoy," before fading away.\n\ni grab the plate with the cake on it. [[this is gonna be good|enjoy cake]].

maybe i didn't put it on! if that's the case, it would probably be in my bag.\n<<set $searches = $searches + 1>><<if $searches lt 3>>no, it's not in my bag. i dug around in there pretty well. i'll have to keep looking.<<display "watch finding actions">><<else>>aha! sure enough, there it is, between two of my notebooks. these things are always in the last place i look. but hey! i've [[got my watch back]].<<endif>>

i check the first door. "wright" is written on a sign above the door.\n\n<<if $tenth_door1>>i've already unlocked the door and taken the feather out of this room.<<endif>><<if not $tenth_door1 and $keys gt 0>>i could [[open the door with one of my keys|tenth car first door key]].<html><br></html>\n<<endif>><<if not $tenth_door1 and $lockpicks gt 0>>\ni could [[try picking the lock on this door|tenth car first door pick]].\n<<endif>><<if not $tenth_door1 and $keys eq 0 and $lockpicks eq 0>>the door is locked, but i don't have any keys or lockpicks to open it with. dang it.<<endif>>\n\ni could also do something else.\n<<display "tenth">>

i grab my bag and step off the train, stopping for a moment to let the fresh air fill my lungs.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\nthe train pulls away, off to the next stop. but this is my stop. this is where i need to be right now, to do what i need to do.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\ni walk up the stairs to my apartment. i take my key, and i unlock the door.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\nuntil the next ride.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\n//ch ch//\n\n//ch//\n\n- end -

<<set $damage = Math.ceil(Math.random() * 3)>>orb of hydration in hand, i conjure a refreshing beverage to slake my thirst. i drink it down, then hurl the glass at the boss entity. it shatters against it, making a few small cuts in its weird brain-flesh for <<print $damage>> damage.<<set $boss_hp = $boss_hp - $damage>>\n\n<<if $boss_hp lte 0>><<display "boss defeated">><<else>><<display "boss fight">><<endif>>

maybe i just dropped it. that could have happened. i'll look on the floor around here.\n<<set $searches = $searches + 1>><<if $searches lt 3>>no, i don't think i dropped it. i checked under pretty much everything around here. i'll have to keep looking.<<display "watch finding actions">><<else>>aha! somehow, it fell off and got wedged between the seat cushions. these things are always in the last place i look. but hey! i've [[got my watch back]].<<endif>>

a few of the sculptures catch my eye:\n* [[a child holding a baseball bat|baseball sculpture]]\n* [[a robed figure holding a scroll|scroll sculpture]]\n* [[a long-haired figure standing in front of an easel|easel sculpture]]\n* [[a short-haired figure relaxing in a chair|chair sculpture]]\n\nif i'm done with the sculptures, i can go on to [[the fifth passenger car|outside the sixth car]].

i don't want to linger too long, but it should be fine for me to [[look through the pile of books]]. then again, [[the dining car]] is next, and i'm still feeling pretty hongry.

i twirl my doorknob in a sock for a moment. once it has some speed, i slam it into the fungus. it bounces off harmlessly.\n\n<<display "eighth">>

the M3-12 is the primary engine used to travel along the third line serviced by unified railway authority. it runs north-south along the eastern coast of the united states, extending from georgia to new york.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\ntwelve passenger cars travel with this engine, along with service cars and a variable number of auto transport cars. due to its high reliability and early start time, it's a popular choice for people interested in making the full trip north or south and still arriving before dinnertime.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\nspeaking of dinnertime, how much longer is this scheduled to travel? we departed at 6:08 and it's\n\nwhere the hell is my [[watch|find that watch]]?

the large, conspicuous lever placed above a pipe outside the sixth passenger car's door may prove useful. i cautiously move my hand towards the handle.\n\n<<if $fire_resistance gt 0>>i grip the lever's handle and yank it down. an enormous gout of flame sprays out of the pipe! fortunately, i'm protected against the heat. it does send me flying, though. i land on the doorstep of the next passenger car. from this distance, i can easily see that it has the number two painted on the door. i stretch my arms and step into [[the second passenger car]].<<else>>as my hand grips the lever's handle, my amulet begins to shake violently. i guess pulling this lever would be pretty bad news. i'll have to think of something else.\n\n<<display "sixth gap">><<endif>>

i check the first door. "loran" is written on a sign above the door.\n\n<<if $tenth_door2>>i've already unlocked this door and taken the headband out of this room.<<endif>><<if not $tenth_door2 and $keys gt 0>>i could [[open the door with one of my keys|tenth car second door key]].<html><br></html>\n<<endif>><<if not $tenth_door2 and $lockpicks gt 0>>\ni could [[try picking the lock on this door|tenth car second door pick]].\n<<endif>><<if not $tenth_door2 and $keys eq 0 and $lockpicks eq 0>>the door is locked, but i don't have any keys or lockpicks to open it with. dang it.<<endif>>\n\ni could also do something else.\n<<display "tenth">>

pulling out my lockpicks, i set to unlocking the door. i managed to jimmy it open, but one of the picks gets stuck in the lock. <<if $lockpicks eq 1>>that was my last one, too!<<endif>> dang it.\n\nchecking inside, the room is empty, save for a stylish looking feather lying on a chair. i decide to stick it behind my ear.\n\n//FEATHER equipped to HEAD\nSTYLE +1\nDEFENSE +0\nSPEED +1//<<set $style = $style + 1>><<set $speed = $speed + 1>><<set $lockpicks = $lockpicks - 1>><<set $tenth_door1 = true>>\n\n<<display "tenth">>

i have been walking around for awhile. sitting down seems alright. i take a place a few feet in front of her.\n\n"do you know why you walked aboard this train, young one?"\n\n* because [[i am going on vacation|ninth car vacation]]\n* because [[i am going to a job|ninth car job]]\n* because [[i am moving to a new city|ninth car city]]

<<if $eleventh_goblins eq 1>>i try to dash past the remaining goblin, but it quickly blocks my escape route with its stick. these things are twice as clever as they look.<<endif>><<if $eleventh_goblins eq 2>>i haven't got time to mess around with goblins, so i try to run past them. unfortunately, they're pretty nimble on their feet, and just as i've jumped over one, the other manages to cut me off. dang it.<<endif>>\n\n<<display "eleventh">>

the boss entity moves to attack!<<silently>><<set $boss_attack = Math.ceil(Math.random()*4)>><<endsilently>>\n<<if $boss_attack eq 1>>the boss entity slashes at me with razor-sharp teeth attached to a flailing leg-tongue, but i duck behind a piston and avoid it.<<endif>><<if $boss_attack eq 2>>the boss entity spits a corrosive green fluid towards my torso, but i spray a jet of water from my orb to neutralize it.<<endif>><<if $boss_attack eq 3>>the boss entity attempts to fill my mind with images of my deepest fears, but i grip my amulet tight, remembering the face of the person who gave it to me.<<endif>><<if $boss_attack eq 4>>the boss entity spins around rapidly and slams into me, but i spin in the opposite direction and am unharmed.<<endif>>

i take a closer look at the sculpture of the robed figure holding a scroll. the figure's pose is triumphant, but the expression on the figure's face is one of boredom. the pose is rehearsed. the figure is unsatisfied for some reason. irregular chunks of the figure's body and the scroll are missing, as if the sculpture is not fully formed.\n\n<<display "sixth">>

i take a closer look at the sculpture of the long-haired figure standing in front of an easel. the easel holds a partially shredded canvas, which the figure is scowling at. there's a paintbrush in the figure's hand, but it is being held like a knife rather than a brush. irregular chunks of the figure's body and the canvas are missing, as if the sculpture is not fully formed.\n\n<<display "sixth">>

i knock on the door of the third cabin. it gives me the silent treatment.\n\n"excuse me?" i offer. no response.\n\nguess i'll [[go for the fourth cabin]].

wait a second.\njust how long has this train been running?\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\ni got on this train no later than eight minutes past six this morning, according to my highly reliable [[train schedule]].\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\nand right now, it's...\nit's lost-my-watch o'clock. damn.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\nwell, i'd better [[go look for it|find that watch]]. it's something to do, past just sitting and listening to the relaxing sounds of the train.

by matthew thompson

i move into the second passenger car. the walls are made of expensive-looking hardwood with exquisite molding. much like the sixth passenger car, this car is full of artwork. however, this time, there are paintings, not sculptures.\n\n<<display "second">>

my stomach is full, so i'm all done in the dining car. i'm halfway to the engine car at this point. i feel ready to go. i feel ready to go into [[the sixth passenger car]].

the dining car menu reads:\n* [[pizza|dining pizza]] $7\n* [[waffle|dining waffle]] $3\n* [[hamburger|dining hamburger]] $6\n* [[fruit cup|dining fruit cup]] $2\n* [[cake|dining cake]] $4\n* [[omelette|dining omelette]] $5

//chugga chugga\nchugga chugga\nchugga chugga\n[[chugga chugga|the train]]//\n\n<<display "init">>

<<if $eleventh_goblins eq 2>>two goblins stand before me. they're brandishing sharp sticks and hopping back and forth menacingly. getting past them shouldn't be too difficult.\n* [[fight|eleventh fight]]\n* [[magic|eleventh magic]]\n* [[drink|eleventh drink]]\n* [[run|eleventh run]]<<endif>><<if $eleventh_goblins eq 1>>one goblin stands before me, brandishing a sharp stick. undeterred by its comrade's defeat, it continues to hop menacingly.\n* [[fight|eleventh fight]]\n* [[magic|eleventh magic]]\n* [[drink|eleventh drink]]\n* [[run|eleventh run]]<<endif>><<if $eleventh_goblins eq 0>>the goblins no longer present a problem for me. overall, that was pretty manageable. it's time to continue to [[the tenth passenger car]].<<endif>>

i take a closer look at the second painting. the subject in the portrait has narrow eyes, focusing intently on something in the distance. the subject's fist is raised and held close to the subject's neck. the most unusual feature is that the subject's facial bones and teeth all seem to be falling out through the flesh of the subject's face. i don't really feel like looking at it for too much longer.\n\n<<display "second">>

<<if $eleventh_goblins eq 1>>i hold up my orb and attempt to conjure a drink. before i can finish the invocation, the remaining goblin gets dangerously close to me with a sharpened stick. i reflexively dodge, and lose my focus on the orb. dang it.<<endif>><<if $eleventh_goblins eq 2>>i hold up my orb and attempt to conjure a drink. the goblins watch in awe as a glass of water appears in my hand. i hastily quaff the beverage, and the glass vanishes.\n\n"hey, can we have some? we're really thirsty," the first goblin says.\n"we haven't had anything to drink all day," adds the second goblin. "it's brutal. if you let us have some, we'll let you pass." the first goblin nods enthusiastically at the suggestion.\n"sure thing," i say. i conjure two more glasses of water using the orb and hand them to the goblins. they are visibly quenched by the beverage and breathe a sigh of relief.\n\n"thanks!" exclaims the first goblin. "and hey, if anyone asks, you had to punch us out to get past us, okay?" i nod in understanding as the goblins return to their previous hiding spot.<<set $eleventh_goblins = 0>><<endif>>\n\n<<display "eleventh">>

with the troll's words drifting through my mind, i move into the eight passenger car. the walls a stone, worn smooth with time. three large stalagmites occupy the majority of the ground. a strange purple fungus is growing on the central stalagmite. i'm not familiar with cave fungi, but my amulet lets me know that it could be pretty dangerous.\n\n<<display "eighth">>

a swirling mass of brain tissue eight feet tall twisted around itself into impossible shapes is before me. from its surface, arms, legs, and appendages that aren't quite either extend haphazardly. along the flesh rest eyes in every shape but round, no two looking in the same direction. teeth upon lips upon hands upon mouths upon eyes, every possible combination of the misaligned building blocks of a human writhe toward me.\n\n"YOUR DEFEAT IS UNAVOIDABLE! ACCEPT YOUR FATE!"\n\ni guess this thing is the boss? it looks like a boss. better get to it.\n\n<<display "boss fight">>

.passage .title {\n display: none;\n}\n\n//.passage .content .internalLink {\n// color: #000000;\n//}\n\n//.passage .content {\n// color: #8b7900;\n//}

"away," i state. "i want to go away."\n\nthe troll smiles and nods.\n\n"i want to go away," i repeat. "i want to go away from reminders of my past failures. i want to go away from the anger i hold towards myself for my actions and thoughts. i want to go away from the bitterness that has taken the place of my ambition. i want to go away from the self-loathing and self-doubt that devours my energy and makes me feel dead while i walk."\n\nthe troll's smile widens. "go away, then," she calmly speaks. "go to [[the engine car]], and move this train to your destination."

i know the deal at this point, and i walk towards her and sit down.\n\n"who said you could sit down!" she demands, her long braids shaking in contempt. "[[stand up|first car standing]]! stand back up!"

it's not that it's a particularly special watch. it's not that it's a particularly expensive watch. it's not that it's a particularly unique watch.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\nit's that it's my goddamned watch, and i don't know what time it is if i don't have it.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\nwell, i mean, i could ask someone else what time it is. i'd have to just [[knock on cabin doors]] until i get a hold of somebody with a watch. they'll be able to tell me what time it is. i'd still like to [[find my watch]] if i can, though. it's my watch. it's mine.\n\n//chugga chugga//\n\ni should have it.<<set $doors = 0>><<set $searches = 0>>

i take a closer look at the third painting. the subject's eyes are sunken deeply into the skull, almost as if the flesh has been melting away. almost all of the subject's flesh appears to be melting, dripping, sliding and slouching down. if the subject's eyes were in their normal position, it would look as if the subject were looking down at the ground. this weird flesh-melting is not something i want to keep looking at.\n\n<<display "second">>

she strokes her chin for a moment.\n\n"a job, is it? i suppose you could think of it like that. it's important to complete tasks that others rely on you to do."\n\n<<display "ninth car revelation">>

even if i know what time it is, not having my watch is the actual problem here.\n\n<<display "watch finding actions">>

//chugga chugga\nchugga chugga//\n\nthe sound of the train is so peaceful. so simple. just a simple "chugga chugga," repeated endlessly until the train stops. but the train has been [[going for hours|wait a second]], and it will run for hours more.

i raise my orb and invoke its power to create a glass of water. there's still a bit left in the glass after i'm done with it, so i toss it on the fungus. it seems nonplussed.\n\n<<display "eighth">>

the pizza is covered with delicious melted cheese and roasted red peppers. it's hot, gooey, and satisfying. this was a good decision.\n\n//PIZZA consumed\nPOWER +1//<<set $power = $power + 1>>\n\n<<display "dining done">>

the hamburger is topped with onions, jalapenos, arugula, and sauce. i am unable to discern the true nature of the sauce. it's big, juicy, and satisfying. this was a good decision.\n\n//HAMBURGER consumed\nPOWER +1//<<set $power = $power + 1>>\n\n<<display "dining done">>

"i'd like the hamburger, please," i say to the ghost.\n"right away!" the ghost cheerfully replies. the ghost ducks behind a curtain. about a minute later, the ghost returns with a delicious-looking hamburger.\n\n"that'll be six dollars," the ghost says. i dig some cash out of my pocket and hand it to the ghost. the ghost smiles and says, "thank you, and enjoy," before fading away.\n\ni grab the hamburger. [[this is gonna be good|enjoy hamburger]].

"i'd like the waffle, please," i say to the ghost.\n"right away!" the ghost cheerfully replies. the ghost ducks behind a curtain. about a minute later, the ghost returns with a delicious-looking waffle.\n\n"that'll be three dollars," the ghost says. i dig some cash out of my pocket and hand it to the ghost. the ghost smiles and says, "thank you, and enjoy," before fading away.\n\ni grab the plate with the waffle on it. [[this is gonna be good|enjoy waffle]].

"HOW CAN THIS BE?" the boss entity cries. "HOW COULD YOU WIN? I ACCOUNTED FOR EVERY POSSIBILITY! NOTHING HAS ESCAPED MY PERFECT INTELLECT!"\n\n"well, then it seems pretty obvious what you missed," i offer with a shrug.\n\n"YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE FROM HERE!"\n\n"i don't think you understand how badly you're outclassed here. i already figured out what i need to do next. see you some other time."\n\ntaking a look at the control panel, it's got its fair share of unlabeled, identical buttons. i consider my options for a moment, then decide to [[press the biggest button on there|return to twelve]].

"i'd like the fruit cup, please," i say to the ghost.\n"right away!" the ghost cheerfully replies. the ghost ducks behind a curtain. about a minute later, the ghost returns with a delicious-looking fruit cup.\n\n"that'll be two dollars," the ghost says. i dig some cash out of my pocket and hand it to the ghost. the ghost smiles and says, "thank you, and enjoy," before fading away.\n\ni grab the fruit cup. [[this is gonna be good|enjoy fruit cup]].

i leave the dining car and casually stroll into the sixth passenger car. the walls are half-covered in ceramic tile. the uncovered half exposes the bare metal of the side of the train car. small strange sculptures line each side of the car. my amulet indicates that there's nothing overtly dangerous in here, although it may be hazardous to my health to stick around too long.\n\n<<display "sixth">>

<<if $eleventh_goblins eq 1>>i take a swing at the remaining goblin with my sock with a doorknob. as i swing it, it becomes entagled with the goblin's sharp stick. with a quick yank, i manage to disarm the goblin. looking panicked, the goblin attempts to flee, but runs face-first into a wall.<<set $eleventh_goblins = 0>><<endif>><<if $eleventh_goblins eq 2>>pulling out my trusty sock with a doorknob, i swing it around wildly. i managed to land a good hit on one of the goblins, sending it flying to the other side of the car. it struggles and attempts to stand, but settles for merely slouching against the wall, looking dazed. the other goblin doesn't seem to notice, and continues swinging at me.<<set $eleventh_goblins = 1>><<endif>>\n\n<<display "eleventh">>

the cake is a delicious yellow cake with chocolate icing and raspberries on top. it's moist, sweet, and satisfying. this was a good decision\n\n//CAKE consumed\nMAGIC +1//<<set $magic = $magic + 1>>\n\n<<display "dining done">>

i open my spellbook, channeling my magic power into it. it floats before me, pages flipping rapidly.\n\n<<if $geometry gt 0>><<set $damage = Math.ceil(Math.random() * ($magic + 1) * 15)>>in a flash of insight, i notice a twisted pattern in its brain-flesh. with an intricate wave of my hands, i bend its bizarre body into a geometry that seems more painful than before. that probably did about <<print $damage>> damage to it.<<set $boss_hp = $boss_hp - $damage>><<else>><<set $damage = Math.ceil(Math.random() * ($magic + 1) * 10)>>gathering arcane energy into my palm, i send a twisted streak of light towards the boss entity's body, leaving a decent-sized hole in the brain-flesh. based on the size of the hole, i'd guess i dealt around <<print $damage>> damage to it.<<set $boss_hp = $boss_hp - $damage>><<endif>>\n\n<<if $boss_hp lte 0>><<display "boss defeated">><<else>><<display "boss fight">><<endif>>

she strokes her chin for a moment.\n\n"moving someplace new, are you? i suppose you could think of it like that. sometimes, living in a new place can help give you a new perspective on life."\n\n<<display "ninth car revelation">>

i'm compelled to do as she says. she seems harmless enough. i walk towards her.\n\n"[[sit|ninth car sitting]], please sit!" she croaks. "i have much to tell you now, and more to tell you later."

i've got a sizable gap between myself and [[the next passenger car|what car is it]]. i could try to:\n\n* [[jump across|sixth jump]]\n* [[cast a spell to get across|sixth magic]]\n* [[mess with this lever to get across|sixth lever]]\n* [[look for something unusual that might help|sixth attunement]]\n* [[wait and see what happens|sixth time]]

i've got a printout of the train schedule. the train i'm on is the M312. or is it the L1-N? no, the L lines don't run today. must be the M312. i'm on the [[M312]].\n\n//chugga chugga//

maybe if i wait awhile, the train cars will drift back towards each other.<<set $sixth_time = $sixth_time - 1>>\n\n<<if $sixth_time eq 0>>apparently, i've waited long enough, as the next passenger car drifts close enough for me to trivially step over to it. from this distance, i can easily see that it has the number two painted on the door. i stretch my arms and step into [[the second passenger car]].<<else>>i stare intently at the next passenger car. it doesn't seem to be getting closer, but it doesn't seem to be moving away, either.\n\n<<display "sixth gap">><<endif>>

her sudden change in tone startles me, and i scramble to my feet.\n\n"do you have a better answer for my question yet? do you? have you learned a single thing today? or are you just floating lazily along like a jellyfish, unaware of your surroundings, completely irrelevant, barely alive?"\n\ni tilt my head a few degrees. "[[what the hell do you mean|first car demand]]?"

i squint at the next passenger car for a bit. upon close inspection, it appears to be marked with the number two. where could the three missing passenger cars be?\n\n<<display "sixth gap">>

i dig through the pile of books.<<silently>>\n<<set $seventh_book = Math.ceil(Math.random()*4)>>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<if $seventh_book eq 1>>i find an old book about sewing. i never learned to do much sewing. now doesn't seem like the best time to start. i toss the book back into the pile.<<endif>><<if $seventh_book eq 2>>i find an old book about birds. what are birds, anyway? i just don't know. i toss the book back into the pile.<<endif>><<if $seventh_book eq 3>>i find an old book about self-confidence. i don't like self-help books. if i want help, i want it from a friend, or a doctor. not some person who thinks they can solve my problems when they haven't even met me. i disdainfully toss the book back into the pile.<<endif>><<if $seventh_book eq 4>>i find an old book about non-euclidean geometry. hey! this might actually have something useful in it! i spend a minute looking through it and take some notes down in my spellbook.<<set $geometry = 1>><<endif>>\n\n<<display "seventh">>

i decide that this is a problem for magic to solve. i begin leafing through my spellbook for something to get me there from here.\n\n<<if $magic gt 0>>i find a short-range propulsion spell in my spellbook. i'll be able to power it using water from my orb of hydration. one quick invocation later, i find myself carefully crossing the gap, spraying water behind me to maintain my height. from this distance, i can easily see that it has the number two painted on the door. i stretch my arms and step into [[the second passenger car]].<<else>>i find a short-range propulsion spell in my spellbook. i'll be able to power it using water from my orb of hydration. however, the force of the water isn't enough to lift me into the air, let alone carry me across the gap. i guess i'm just not feeling too magical right now.\n\n<<display "sixth gap">><<endif>>

the fruit cup has a nice mix of berries, pineapples, and grapes. it's cold, sweet, and satisfying. this was a good decision.\n\n//FRUIT CUP consumed\nMAGIC +1//<<set $magic = $magic + 1>>\n\n<<display "dining done">>

i figure that something weird like missing train cars is probably the result of an anamolous geometric involution. if i can find the original function that connects train cars together, i can remove the gap entirely.\n\n<<if $geometry gt 0>>focusing my geometric powers, i analyze the spatial matrix spanning the distance between the passenger cars. a few scribbles in my spellbook later, i've got the relationship all figured out. signing the geometric runes, i channel my energy into the drawing. the function is a perfect match, and i'm a mere step from the next passenger car. from this distance, i can easily see that it has the number two painted on the door. i stretch my arms and step into [[the second passenger car]].<<else>>focusing my geometric powers, i analyze the spatial matrix spanning the distance between the passenger cars. however, the symmetries just don't seem to add up right. maybe i've forgotten some important bit of geometry. i'll have to get across some other way.\n\n<<display "sixth gap">><<endif>>

she strokes her chin for a moment.\n\n"a vacation, is it? i suppose you could think of it like that. it's important to take time off now and then."\n\n<<display "ninth car revelation">>

<<if $eleventh_goblins eq 1>>rather than finding out how sharp this goblin's stick is, i decide to keep my distance and try a spell. holding my orb aloft, i invoke its power against the creature. pretty soon, it starts spinning around in place really fast, twisted by unseen forces. after a little while, the goblin collapses, thoroughly exhausted and nauseated.<<set $eleventh_goblins = 0>><<endif>><<if $eleventh_goblins eq 2>>i quickly flip through my spellbook and find just what i need. holding my orb aloft, i invoke its power against a goblin right as it lunges at me. its feet suddenly stick to the floor, causing it to lose its balance. as it catches itself with its hands, those too become stuck. it groans in disappointment as it realizes its predicament, but the other goblin doesn't seem to mind.<<set $eleventh_goblins = 1>><<endif>>\n\n<<display "eleventh">>

"i'll tell you, you insolent whelp, since you apparently can't figure out these things for yourself! this train was made just for you! you don't have to go to the engine room to start it up again! you just have to be honest about where you want it to take you! you don't want a vacation! you don't want to do work! you don't want to move someplace new!"\n\n"then where the hell do i want to go?"\n\nher frown deepens. "until you know, the train won't move, and you won't be able to leave this car! ha! how do you like that?"\n\nto be fair, i don't like it a whole lot, but i figure it's probably best to keep that to myself.\n\nwhat is it?\n\n[[where do i want to go|first car revelation]]?

"i'd like the pizza, please," i say to the ghost.\n"right away!" the ghost cheerfully replies. the ghost ducks behind a curtain. about a minute later, the ghost returns with a delicious-looking pizza.\n\n"that'll be seven dollars," the ghost says. i dig some cash out of my pocket and hand it to the ghost. the ghost smiles and says, "thank you, and enjoy," before fading away.\n\ni grab the pizza. [[this is gonna be good|enjoy pizza]].

i take a closer look at the sculpture of the short-haired figure relaxing in a chair. the figure is reclining lazily, but the figure's face gives an impression of being on the verge of tears. the figure is surrounded on all sides by small garbage cans, each of them overfilled and spilling out chaotically. irregular chunks of the figure's body are missing, as if the sculpture is not fully formed.\n\n<<display "sixth">>

a lone purple fungus is before me. i don't know what its deal is, but i know that it's dangerous.\n* [[fight|eighth fight]]\n* [[magic|eighth magic]]\n* [[drink|eighth drink]]\n* [[run|eighth run]]

she looks away for a moment, then fixes her pale eyes upon mine. "but i think that if i ask you again later, you will have a different answer for me. for now, go on your way. the engine room awaits."\n\nshe gestures towards the end of the car, and a door to [[the eighth passenger car]] slides open.

<<actions "maybe i dropped it?" "is it still in my bag?" "could it be in my jacket pocket?">>

i decide to try and jump the gap. maybe with a good running start, i can do it. i take a few steps back into the sixth car and take off running.\n\n<<if $speed gt 0>>as i reach the edge of the sixth passenger car, i make a flying leap out towards the next car. somehow, i've got enough speed to make it across. i nearly smack my face into the door of the car i land on, though. from this distance, i can easily see that it has the number two painted on the door. i stretch my arms and step into [[the second passenger car]].<<else>>as i reach the edge of the sixth passenger car, my amulet begins to shake violently. i barely manage to stop myself at the edge of the car. i guess my amulet doesn't think i'm fast enough to build up the speed for this kind of distance.\n\n<<display "sixth gap">><<endif>>

i walk through the door in the sixth passenger car and out into the fif--\nwait a second.\nthis isn't the fifth passenger car at all.\nthis is just empty space. this is the formless, colorless void. which is unusual, because i was really expecting the fifth passenger car.\n\nwhere the hell is the fifth passenger car? did this train forget how ordinality works? the sixth car is connected to the fifth car. this is a step too far. also a step too far is the next passenger car, which appears to be a good fifty feet away from me, somehow not drifting away from this one.\n\nbut i need to get to the engine room if i'm going to figure out what's going on here. it's not going to be easy, but i'm going to have to get across somehow.\n\n<<display "sixth gap">><<set $sixth_time = 3>>

a sock with a doorknob in it, also known as the wizard's flail, makes a very effective and lightweight weapon. it's also unlikely to be confiscated by the five-oh if they search your bag.\n\n//[[back|get ready for a dangerous mission]]//